So she doesn’t work (or even when she did it was only part time) and doesn’t do housework and doesn’t help with the kids. In addition she is not kind and loving (even if sex was too painful for her, she should show kindness snd affection in other ways).

Sadly if you divorce her, you’d likely to pay substantial spousal support to her per court order (not talking about child support, talking about alimony to ex spouse).

Whenever people stay with such spouses long enough, they end up paying spousal support through their nose. Sometimes for 10-15 years or longer and those payments are always unfairly high. If you stay 30 years, you might end up paying her until SS age, especially if she has health issues

She either has to get a full time job (if she can paint for 6 hours, she can get a job) and provide or if her health doesn’t allow that, she needs to do ALL household tasks and be nice and loving wife and mother. Or she has to go. ASAP.

If you leave now, your spousal support might not be as high. Longer you stay, more you’ll pay.

I am sorry you and your children have to live like this.