Feeling much better. Haldol has calmed my agitation greatly and the increase in lamictal has helped depression. If anything, I’m a bit hypo. Spent a lot of money. I ordered three band tee shirts when I realized mine don’t fit anymore corona weight! And some earrings and some clothes for my son. But I also paid a bunch of medical bills (stimulus = gone lol). So at least they won’t go to collections. It’s a good thing we can’t really go to the stores because I want to go SHOPPING. Not just online shopping lol.

I had to print something so we ended up breaking social distancing and going to my mom’s. We wore masks but didn’t keep 6ft because her house is too small for all that. I’m having another virtual happy hour with my brother and sister in law tonight. That’ll be nice.

The gov opened the parks back up and it is simply GORGEOUS out so tomorrow we will likely go for a hike and maybe have a social distance picnic like Christina suggested with my grandma. I really miss her and I’m still afraid that I might never see her again if she catches it. So if we wear masks and keep 6ft outside we should be ok and at least I’ll get to see her, even if I can’t hug her.

So glad for the wonders of medication. Haldol specifically. It works quickly for me and squashed the mixed episode within a couple of days.

I was so touched by the way RS handled the whole situation. He didn’t even get mad at me after I hurt myself. He just said he was sorry it got to that point and he understood that I was in a lot of pain and it wasn’t really me. He gave me lots of cuddles and just lay in bed with me for hours while I was writhing from bad thoughts and bad energy. I’ve never had that. My mom used to get mad at me and so did my husband. My husband never told me it would be ok or that we would get through this together. He always just said “I don’t know why you’re doing this to me”. I loved my husband very much, and he loved me, but I truly think RS is the man I was supposed to end up with for life. My husband and I had some great times and I will always love him. But RS is my true love.