I don't see it as hijacking.

I see it as sharing. And I appreciate it. Thank you.

I've always felt like if I did enough, she'd want me. It never happened.

I grew up working, truly. Running equipment at 15. Driving trucks by 19. Building houses by 21.

Now I'm in an office job with a lot of autonomy. I am able to exceed targets and rarely put in even 35 hours a week working (before covid). I'm good at my job, which makes more time for home.

At home, I always just accepted there was work and lots of it, and accepted that marriage isn't 50-50. There are times and tasks that one partner has to carry the burden.

I never saw how much it was until now. Wow.

Five weeks ago she asked me to sleep downstairs. I did, and took the time to think... I realized, there WAS no more i could do, and I wasn't good enough.

I began letting go.

As for counselling, we did, years ago. She isnt open to it again.

At the end of one session, the counselor grabbed 10 seconds alone with me and said, "what she is looking for doesnt exist. "

I took that as a challenge, because no one out works me.

RDM