Hi,

Sorry I was being intentionally vague what my relationship is. My motivation to do that was one of fear that the person might read it, recognize themselves and be even more vindictive. I realize this is highly unlikely to happen.

The info on APD is just perfectly matched. I appreciate the information on how to cope.

Yes, I readily admit the boundary issue has been a major issue. In the beginning, I was trying to help with money, finding doctors, etc. Like the article says, I was being manipulated very skillfully. I can most times spot a manipulator. I could not spot it with this person. The only crack that appeared was I overheard a conversation with her friends talking about manipulating me. I was totally shocked. She is a MASTER manipulator. Like the article said, you really don't see it coming. So, I recently started setting boundaries, especially with money (which is what this is really about for her). She blew up! That's when she started threatening me and breaking my things. It is hard not to give in and give her some money to get her away from me. Recently, I have been standing my ground and it got bad. I had to sneak out a side door and grab my cat out a window and run to a park one day. I thought she was going to kill me.

Here is the weird thing-she will do this convincing display of pain, anger, angst, desperation....One day after this display, I happened to look out the window as she was getting into her car...she was smirking and smiling. I was shocked. I had been played again.

the long term boundary issue does give her the impression that I am an easy target and that no consequences will happen. Because I finally set boundaries, the violence has escalated to the point I am terrifyed of her. Because I kept holding a boundary, the anger is out of contorl. She throws things when she doesn't get money. Here are just a few things she has done the last 7 months: I had a glass that my deceased dad gave me. She threw it against the wall and broke it. When I started crying, she told me, "I hope your Dad is in hell". She pulled a bookcase onto the floor spilling all the books. She called my work and told them I am unstable. She ran over the tire of my bicycle (I watched her do it.). A couple of times she has pounded on my front door for over 30 minutes screaming and kicking the door.

I just don't know what the police would do and would this make her more angry? She has an outstanding charge against her-going to court soon-and I feel like if she thinks it is my fault that she got in more legal trouble, I will be more of a target. She hates authority.

Anyway, it sounds even worse writing it out. It has been a gradual decline to this point. And, I have been manipulated into feeling sorry for her along the way. I know I am nice and easy going. LIke the article said, I really need to have no contact with her. I want to be done with it. But, I don't know how. Also, we are family, so I might have to stay away from family things. sorry I am being vague.

Thank you both for helping. The article is really great. I just can't bring myself to call the police because it seems like she needs mental help not jail time, plus I am afraid she will blame me (which she will). I guess this is really the heart of the matter. I have to work up the courage to call the police if she breaks my stuff again.

I am finally ready to be totally free of this person. I have even thought of moving and not telling anyone where I am.