In some sense, she's right. You either choose to go without because you can't force anyone into sex.. or you step out of the marriage and get it elsewhere.

I really feel for you. She's not well. I get you shared your vows which clearly means a lot to you. I also believe in compromise. I also don't believe we can use our illnesses as an "excuse". Sure, it's a reason but with any barriers, and for the love of the people in our lives, we try our best to work through those barriers.

As I've mentioned already, this sounds more to me like abuse. She's isolated you from the world, apart from your job and probably because she needs you to financially provide for the family, and that'snot ok.

You've decided to wait and see. I think this is a great idea because you will learn a lot by watching. Ultimately, you will make the right choice, eventually.

You are a dad to your kids and so you're obliged to do your part in raising them, yes. However, the issue isn't that you're going over the top, the issue is she isn't meeting you part way. She has thrown in the towel a long time ago and you're just seeing this for the first time, now.