Hi convalescence. I am sorry for your loss. It sounds rough.

Before I lost my dad, he was in nursing home for 2 years because he could not ambulate and could not be taken care of at home. He kept losing abilities and slipping deeper into dementia. I thought the anticipation of losing him would prepare me for the loss but it did not.

After he died I thought I was handling it well and then parts of me that were holding out hope of his reconciling to me were lost. I had to face a new life living without him and all that that entailed.

Now 3 years later I am looking back and seeing that I had to reinvent who I thought I was and reinvent my life since it had been wrapped around seeing him and taking care of mom. The more I do self care, the less it hurts or the less I am aware of it. I have joined a couple grief support groups and that helped a lot.
@CANDC