It sounds like your wife might have narcissistic tendencies herself. Everything must be about her. She grew up in
that environment and sadly absorbed those tendencies herself. The world evolves around her and her needs, in her mind it does. In reality it doesn’t.

It’s never ok to mistreat, berate and call people names and take advantage of people’s generosity and kindness. Not ok

I am glad you aren’t willing to tolerate it much longer. You are getting stronger by day.