Hi popyang. Sorry for the loss of your aunt. It must have been pretty scary for a 16 year old to confront death. This is especially true in a society that does not talk openly of death.

I look back on some of my favorite relatives who died when I was getting out of high school and I just never spent enough time with them. If I knew now back then I would have spent more time with them. The problem I have is most of the things I learned in life were making tough decisions and suffering the guilty conscience thinking I had made a wrong decision. When I look with an eye of compassion then I realize I did the best I could. It wasn't perfect but it was all I could handle in the place I was in.

Hope you find a way like a therapist to help you sort things out. This video is a nice reminder to me to be nice to myself.
@CANDC