Quote:
Originally Posted by RDMercer
Ok...
I know the porn and lying was wrong. Like I said, I was shocked how damaging it was to her.
Eight years later, it is still the only thing that matters.
Saving her life, saving a kid's life, literally tending to her daily for years while very sick, and raising the kids, and carrying the financial load.... Those things dont give me worth. I am a terrible husband and partner.
I think to someone else those things would be valued in a partner.
Im going to say this carefully.... Deep anxiety and depression and pain must limit someones scope, their range. I dont think she is narcissistic. I do think she is unable to see past herself at times because she is so absorbed in her pain. That, and pain, makes for defensiveness... Thats what I think Im seeing.
Im tired of not being good enough.
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We have to give ourselves our own sense of self worth. We can’t look to others to give us our worth. We have to already feel inside and know that we ARE worthy - perhaps that’s something you could work on building and strengthening? Within yourself and for yourself? And apart from her? So that you can feel good enough just as you are?
We cannot diagnose of course, but to me, it does seem like she may be narcissistic. I’ve never heard of anyone’s emotional problems making it totally impossible for them to see outside themselves. Your wife also seems to lack any empathy for your feelings and needs, which is characteristic of a narcissist. But again, I can’t diagnose. I’ve known many narcissists in my life, however, and have been involved romantically with several. Of course it’s possible she’s not. She just resembles one, and like Divine stated, it could be narcissistic tendencies.