Hm, that's odd... I'd think of your desire to be comforted and supported by him as more paternal than erotic--not saying that you have paternal transference. Just that desire for comfort often comes from a younger place. It's what made me realize that the majority of my transference for ex-MC was paternal (though there was a little erotic at times). When I first experienced it, I kept having this thought of "I wish he could hold me." I initially thought it was romantic, but then realized it was more like what a child would want from a parent.


It does seem a bit like your T is trying to put some blame for the rupture on you. Honestly, it makes me think a bit of the whole stone thing that happened with Dr. T, where he was weirded out by my holding the stone if I associated it with him (vs. therapy space) and said he didn't have to explain/justify his reaction to me. In the sense of trying to shift responsibility to you. And it's also like he's suggesting that comfort isn't a "normal" thing for a client to seek from a therapist (which...I could see Dr. T thinking something like that as well).

I do think for something to be erotic transference, there needs to be some sort of sexual thoughts or fantasies. Or perhaps romantic ones, like wishing you could date or marry your T. The fact that you don't have them suggest to me that it's *not* erotic transference. Possibly some element of paternal there. But it may just simply be that you're looking for support and comfort during a difficult time in your life, which is completely natural, and there's nothing else there.