What is sad to me is I feel she has beaten you down because of the porn, but in other ways too.. But you do see your self worth in other ways. That's great! Keep building up your esteem apart from what she says. Whenever she puts you down, berates you and/or criticizes you, come up with an opposing statement about yourself that counters what she believes and says - something that you know is true about yourself that is the opposite viewpoint and the actual truth. That may help.