I mostly have paternal transference, but sometimes it switches to erotic. When it first started, I caught myself having sexual fantasies about him...him having sex with me. He's a lot older than me and under normal circumstances, I wouldn't find him attractive. Not that he isn't attractive, he's just too close in age to my parents for me to think of someone of his generation in that way. I think my erotic transference blossomed out of a need for closeness and comfort and maybe a bit of sexual frustration after a breakup. So because he is safe, my imagination jumped at the opportunity to "use" him in such fantasies, if you know what I mean. I don't think that for me it's as simple as "I imagined having sex with him, therefore I fancy him"; I actually think my erotic transference is another manifestation of my paternal transference, weird as that may sound. This may be too much information, but in my fantasies, he's the one who always takes charge, who shows me what a healthy/respectful sexual relationship should look like...so he's never quite removed from that teacher/mentor role.

That being said, when he said I was attractive (in context, not just a random compliment), I dwelled on it for ages. I couldn't;t get it out of my head, that he finds me attractive as a woman. I didn't realise how much I was longing for that sort of "approval" from him, even if only in a therapeutic context, or as part of a thought exercise.

He knows about my paternal transference, but I haven't mustered the courage to tell him about the erotic fantasies. If he brought it up, I think I would like to explore these feelings/thoughts with him. I think that for me, both my erotic and paternal transference have a lot to do with me wanting to be close to him, in whatever way is possible (only in my head, I would never act on it). I also think that the erotic transference is a sort of metaphor for vulnerability. I think he's the only person who has fully seen my vulnerability, so maybe my head is inverting it somehow....emotional vulnerability/physical vulnerability. But I'm probably overthinking.

Anyway, I hope this helps.