plagued by nightmares again. one was that three men broke into our house. it was so scary i woke up in a panic and made RS go check on my son because i was too scared to leave the room. the other one was i had to take my brother to the hospital because he was attacking my mom because he was so upset with her. he got committed to the same hospital i've been in numerous times, but the catch was he was young, like 12-13. i had to take him twice because he attacked her twice. then i was so upset that i went to hurt myself but RS walked in on me and found me with my "kit". i tried to play it off. it was awful.

i know when i'm feeling down i get all these nightmares but it sucks to not even be able to sleep well because of them. RS gave me back my meds yesterday so i could refill my container but i told him to take them again. i'm still not feeling well. like i said it's getting slowly better but i just wish i could kick it. i will though. just gotta give the meds a chance t work.

The other problem I have is every single damn night when I am trying to fall asleep I am plagued by intrusive thoughts about my husband’s death. Like thinking about finding him, his funeral, his addiction, etc. I imagine this is because the anniversary of his death is coming up May 28th. I’m going to try to work on intrusive thoughts with my therapist