It doesn't sound to me like you have erotic transference - you don't fantasise about sex or any sort of romantic liaison with hm, you don't find him physically attractive - so it seems pretty clear that it's not erotic transference.

The issue really is why he's determined to suggest that you are. That would worry me a great deal. It seems like there is something going on for him that is taking over his agenda and making him think you're erotically attracted to him but in denial of it.

I'm sorry you're in this situation.

To answer your question, I think erotic transference can be experienced in a number of ways and not necessarily just the obvious. I am a heterosexual female who sees a female T and I believe I experience erotic transference towards her. I DON'T desire sex with her but I am attracted to her physically and I think it goes beyond simply admiring her looks as it feels very magnetic and intense. I have read that it can be compared to the intense bond between parent and child when the child literally wants to bond with the (usually female) parent and not be separate from her, like going back into the womb. In adult life the need for intense bonding usually translates into sex. So strong intense feelings of attraction can become confused. I think this may be what is going on for me but I'm not sure. However, the feelings are very strong and this is what I believe is the hallmark of erotic transference - there has to be strong, magnetic feelings towards the therapist on a very visceral level.

But I honestly don't think you are experiencing that from what you've said.