This is much worse of a story that happened to me than I’m saying here because I just want to make one point about it.

I was beginning to have a relationship with a man. He told me he has ‘kind of a potty mouth’. I didn’t think much of that (should have seen that red flag). Soon after he went off on me, calling me every name including the C word. I told him that rant was unacceptable. No one talks to me like that. He said, “You’re a big girl. You can take it.” I told him “I won’t take it and you are done.”

That was a deal breaker from the first incident.

Now, I assume your husband’s abusive rants are not peppered with as choice words as I had hurled at me, or you probably would have bolted the first time.

He must have been harsh, but not so much that you are thinking you can change him.

If he wants to keep you, he can change. You will have to clearly communicate and stick to your guns. What is unacceptable is truly unacceptable. If you back down, he won’t stop.