I did not see your latest post until after I posted my last post.

Very interesting what you just shared about your wife’s mother and how you can see how your wife has created that same dynamic in her own family. Yes this is often what happens. Your wife uses similar tactics on you. Yes this could be borderline your wife is exhibiting. It’s what she saw her mother do.

It can be hard sometimes to know if it’s borderline or narcissistic behavior. This has been something I have been challenged with when it comes to my older sister.

What your wife just did by initiating a sexual approach? Yes she is playing you to regain control over you. Narcissists do that too. They pretend to care but they don’t instead it’s all about their own ego and need to control.

Your wife doesn’t feel for you and most likely can’t empathize your hurts and needs. Often this is played but not real. Sigh... I have had to have a lot of therapy about this very reality about my older sister. You are a good person you wanted to love someone who is not able to love you the way you deserved. You are not the first to face this kind of challenge.