A friend came over this weekend for lunch. We hung out in the backyard, it was nice. I ate too much and ended up skipping dinner because of that. We have lots of leftovers so lunch today was nice too.

My wife and I made a cheesecake and it turned out really well even though we made some mistakes in the recipe.

My sister's birthday is coming up soon. It'll be the 4th one without her.

It's also mother's day that day so I'll go see her and maybe take some flowers if I can find any.

I feel guilty about how I observed my sister's birthdays. I would get a card last minute and figure out what to write in it and send it off by courier or something because I didn't want it to be late. She would always be thoughtful: she often made the card she sent and wrote very thoughtful things in her cards. And she would do that for my kids and wife too for they're l their birthdays and other times too. I feel badly that I didn't put as much thought into her cards.

If I had known that the last card I sent her would have been the last one, I would have said more. But at least I got to tell her that I loved her a day before she passed away.

I'm feeling low and anxious. I'm waking up at night and getting out of bed for an hour or so then going back to bed. It's really strange.