Of all the people, I only had my abusive father to talk to, when I was a teen. I have had already forgotten the abuse by then, or kept forgetting. I still am not sure when it actually stopped, to be honest. He kept supplying me with books based on incestuous content into my late teens, but I kept pushing the awareness about it somewhere where I could neither see it, or think about it...he would even ask me what I think about a particular book, and if the book was not too triggering, I would read it without being aware of the content as explicitly, but sometimes the incest was the main topic, and then I could not really read it...other topics were insanity and dark pathology in particular.

One day, when I was around 15-16 years old, I told him that I have "different persons" in me, and he just said that is how everyone feels. Both him and my mother systematically normalized everything that was not normal in our lives, and sometimes some quite "normal" and actually healthy behavior of mine (such as my wish to have more autonomy in some regard) would be deemed abnormal, and "you should go see a shrink" to "check your head" was usually used as a threat by my father, if he disliked something about my behavior.

Another time I told him that when I look at my hands, I know they are not mine, and he said: whose hands would they be, haha. I never again brought the subject forward, as I was afraid that he would be able to start a smear campaign and use it against me if I were to say more about it, or even to have me hospitalized, as I believe that was one of his threats when I was little.