Sometimes people are just who they are. Trying to change them into someone you wish they were typically doesn’t work in a long run. You can spend years or entire life on that and it’s usually not working. You either accept that our partners are who they are or move on. Now of course some things could be adjusted like he can do better with washing dishes or something but it appears that he needs to become a totally different person to be a suitable partner.

It’s great you got him to see a therapist so there is hope but how much damage would be done in the process? How long are you willing to wait for him to change?