(I'm starting with MsLady's quote, because I think she hit the nail on the head.)

I'm really sorry to say, but it VERY much appears he's using you. He gets "mad" and "hurt" because he senses his "supply" is getting cut off.

Also, you gave and gave, and forgave and forgave. You have nothing to seek his forgiveness for.

And yeah, they'll play the "suicide card". Don't fall for it. It's just to put you back in line.

Every move and comment is designed to keep you in his sway, giving him all that he wants. Period. And i'm guessing you don't get much in return. Crumbs maybe? Usually in service of another goal. (If I play nice....)

This kind of stuff can really seriously erode self-esteem. Something many of us already have in short supply. You don't need that. It doesn't help your recovery.

I hope you do not think I made too many leaps. But it's a behavioral pattern I quickly recognized from unfortunate personal experience. And a lot of reading about emotional abuse.

I wish you the very best moving forward.