I still get them. I had one last night. I avoided it during my 2 year hospital stay because the law in my state is that they need a hearing to get permission. I still remember how I was informed of the decision. About a week after my hearing I was sitting in the dining room eating my lunch when a nurse handed me a legal envelope. She didn't tell me what it was, but after a few seconds I figured it must be by decision. I opened it and started reading but saw how long it was and skipped to the end - State's application denied. The state appealed and that took an entire year, but I won that and they just let me go. It was weird because they had been saying for two years that I was too dangerous to let go without being on Risperdal or Haldol. But then after losing they just let me go.

It would have really been ugly if they had won. I remember my first day on the lower security ward. Some guy was just sitting in a chair and two big male nurses asked him if he was going to take his meds. he said no so they picked him up and dragged him to another room to shoot him up. I still remember one woman screaming please don't when they shot her up. I wasn't planning on begging like that, just screaming eff you a-holes!