I have been in many abusive relationships throughout my whole life. MANY. And I often wonder WHY this is. My dad wasn't the best towards me growing up and I thought he belittled my mother, which he often did in front of us. My mother was very depressed while we were young and kind of withdrawn into herself. She was not a strong role model. And my dad was overly critical and condemning of me. He wasn't emotionally supportive. Every emotion I had, he criticized me for. I learned later in life that he has narcissistic tendencies -- he could even be a full-blown narcissist. But I grew up feeling like his needs mattered most, his feelings and opinions mattered most, mine did not matter and I was not worthy of his love and affection. I had major self esteem issues that I fought with my entire life to build. And I ended up in multiple abusive relationships, many of them being with narcissistic men. So, at least for me, I was drawn to relationships that mirrored the relationship I had with my father: emotionally abusive, unavailable, self-centered and narcissistic.