I feel for your suffering over this matter, Ruby. As much as I understand some things about people, in other ways they are a complete mystery. I find animals -- such as cats and dogs -- much more consistent in their interactions with me and have had much more enduring relationships with them than with most people. If you do not or cannot have a pet, but would like to interact with animals, perhaps you can visit your local animal shelters.

Some of my friends have died. Others have moved away. I still consider them friends and I try to keep in touch with the ones who have moved away. I try to stay consistently friendly to the people I want as friends, and I watch to see who responds appropriately.

What do I mean by appropriately? I mean who responds in a way that indicates a good friendship might develop. Let me give you some examples. One woman ended up treating me horribly, using me as her dumping ground for all of her angry jealous hatred, insulting and attacking me. I felt bad she had such misery in her soul, but I couldn't be her punching bag, so I stopped interacting with her.

Another revealed an unhealthy interest in me that also included a tendency to insult and abuse me over things such as my race. I can't change my color, so I stopped interacting with her.

Another, even though she has moved far away, still sends me cards, photos through email, and texts with me. When she comes back to town we will get together. She has remained consistently kind and thoughtful. (I have met her family; they are kind, thoughtful people too). Another friend has moved far away, but I still hear from him and we share items of interest via social media. I consider him a son from another mother, and he appreciates that because family is important to him.

You'll notice I don't have many friends. I have a couple more I have not mentioned and then I also have some who I know only through social media.

A therapist once suggested that I find friends outside of work. This gets much more difficult the older you get when most people are married or paired up, working, and busy with their own lives. The easiest way is through a religious organization (church, synagogue, etc) or through some shared volunteer experience (volunteering at an animal shelter, for example) or creative experience (taking art classes or dance lessons, for example). My therapist also suggested I find younger friends (because I am older). I think it is nice to have multi-generational friends. It keeps life interesting.

Some people have moved out of my life. Was it because they stopped liking me? I think for me some people never really liked me much from the start and whatever relationship we had was based on circumstances (we worked together, for example).

Not everyone is going to like me; and not everyone is looking for friends. I think the area where I live is very insular (family and family only) and many others who have moved here from elsewhere are prone to "What can you do for me?" thinking when it comes to human interaction. I'm not wealthy or powerful or well-connected.

I hope you will keep posting threads about friendship and relationships with other people, Ruby. I am finding them very interesting and helpful.