@RDMercer, I can relate to your sentiments about your marriage right now. I have a pretty troubled marriage at the moment, my husband is on and off abusive towards me, and I may have to leave him as a result. Right now, I am pulling back from him, just as you are with your wife. I have personally reached a breaking point, after he raged on me the other day again, and for the first time in six months.

It took me months to fully admit to myself (and on here) that what I am experiencing is emotional and verbal abuse. It's not an easy situation to contend with, and I sympathize and empathize with you. I get all of my husband's own anger and rage directed at me. He takes it out on me, and I now believe that he is an angry person inside.

Yesterday, I gave him an ultimatum: I told him point blank that if this behavior continues and happens one more time, that we will have a serious problem. In between the lines, that means I am leaving him. I don't know if he realizes that that's what that means. But he will not own up to having an anger/rage problem, and I know I cannot work with that, nor will I continue to be abused in a relationship, let alone a marriage. And I took my marriage vows very seriously -- just as seriously, I believe in being happy and feeling fulfilled and respected within a marriage and relationship, and I am willing to walk away if the disrespect, rage, anger and abuse continues any longer.

I miss my happy self. I miss pursuing many of my own interests that have fallen by the wayside. So I can also relate to you saying you don't know what you like to do anymore, because you became somewhat lost by giving of yourself so much. I feel I have lost a part of myself in this marriage. He has too many physical ailments to be able to join me in all the physical activities I enjoy, so I don't pursue them, to my chagrin.

So I really feel for you, being in the position you are in. Happiness is very important in life, I believe. And if that is sacrificed because of another person, it only harms us in the end.