Yeah, that's hard. I'm sorry you are going through that. IDK if you have a counselor or someone that can help you process your emotions. Sometimes exercise can be very helpful in getting out emotions. I know it is kind of hard right now with the Corona virus but can you go for a walk or a run? Do something physical to convert those emotions into sweat! If you get to feeling way worse, you may need to go to the hospital to keep yourself safe. Don't be afraid to call a helpline or something if you need to. Your safety is important. Hang in there! We're here with you! HUGS if you want, Kit