Very depressed. Grief, shame and guilt kicking our ***. Been having sui thoughts for a while. The IOP T and our pdoc both brought up the hospital.

Pdoc was a little more pushy about it but after giving mom one of our meds and pdoc talking to Mom, she felt a little more comfortable with not calling the police to come check on us.

At this point, we are most likely going to tell the IOP T tomorrow that we need to go to the hospital. We've been making stupid decisions (IOP T knows)... We keep telling everyone that we can stay safe, but honestly we really can't. When we leave IOP, we don't know if we'll be there in the morning. (Don't worry, right now we are not intending on doing anything to hurt ourselves like that. We will be at IOP tomorrow.)

We're just tired of everything... We want to go to sleep and never wake up. We want to be with someone who is already gone... We just want to not be alive anymore.