Make a list of the perfect man, the one who would meet all your needs and give you the life you want. Then dont waste time with the rest. You are all over the place, getting nowhere, constantly frustrated, coming up short, because you havent decided what you want. Are you careful about safe sex? I stated in an earlier post that I dont understand how you can be dating with the covid virus rampaging and more info about it's transmission being so unpredictable every day (5/2020). What are you thinking?! Seems like you are dating without any thought at all about what would make you happy for the long run. We have more control than every before over access to single men with the Internet, or better yet, clubs and organizations we enjoy. What are you thinking? Wake up , woman before you really get hurt. If you want to be a mistress, be one, but dont let it just happen.