Thank you for all the kind words and support. It means a lot.
I was in a really dark place and I have been in that dark place many times in the past few months. It's like your mind looses all rational thinking and you're so overwhelmed with pain and grief. It can get really scary sometimes.
I'm really trying to cope. I have a journal where I have noted down my thoughts, goals and positive stuff that happen. I update it on a daily basis. I feel like this will keep me from sinking into a phase where I feel worthless, hopeless and frustrated.