McKell, I've read some on the 4 attachment styles in adults (John Bowlby):
--secure attachment
--anxious-preoccupied attachment
--dismissive-avoidant attachment
--fearful-avoidant attachment.

I recognized immediately that my attachment style was fearful-avoidant and my husband's was dismissive-avoidant. What a recipe for disaster! No wonder we're splitting up. The 4 attachment styles are described in this wiki article:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachm...achment_Styles

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
If you don't like your attachment style, can you change it?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">I believe maybe yes, you can (said hopefully). I recognize that I have somehow managed to form a secure attachment to my therapist, probably largely through his expert efforts and maybe partly because of my desire to grow and be healthy. This just feels so great to me, like ahhhh, at last, this is how a relationship is supposed to work! So now, because of our relationship, I know I can attach differently and more healthily, and this gives me hope for the future, that maybe now I can do it with friends, family, future romantic partners, etc. I really believe however, that my H could never be anything but the dismissive-avoidant style, perhaps in large part because he has no desire to grow or improve.