I wasn't initially looking for help as much as I was looking for other people's experiences and comfort levels.. the whys and why nots.

A lot of my discomforts come from history of distrust in people who have proven to be untrustworthy. I've had a lot of toxic people in my life (family, friends, partners) so I really don't know what's considered "socially appropriate" .. vs me being "overly guarded" due to my own negative experiences.

I'm trying to assess how much of me is needing to heal and how much of the other person is needing more awareness.

I know it's healthy for couples to flirt with one another, to be sexually involved, and to give compliments to one another. I also think "in context" is important.

I'm with a partner who has very poor boundaries, is highly impulsive, and often thinks of his own needs first. Pair him up with someone like me, who's been betrayed on so many levels.. we end up in a toxic dance without any music.

I get I need to feel comfortable and shouldn't accept anything less. I'm so closed off right now.. I don't want to be for the rest of my life.

Some examples lately (in front of our daughters):

* Compliments on my cleavage
* Telling me I look great in jeans, using a sexual tone
* Complimenting certain shirts I'm wearing that are more fitted.. etc

Are these compliments? They make me uncomfortable. Is it because it's become a trust issue (and I see how he watches other women sexually) .. or am I just uncomfortable and needing to relax and take a compliment?

It is random.. during a family walk, as I'm preparing dinner, as we're sitting on the couch as a family..

I recently mentioned to him that he doesn't make me feel like he's attracted to me (based on his behaviours towards other women and our lack of intimacy) so now he's doing this. Maybe he's trying and I just don't trust him yet.. or maybe it's perversion on his part or something else..?