I just want to add here that none of the members here are professionals. Everyone is offering support based on their own experiences and what they have learned. What you shared about your wife’s behaviors is concerning. How these behaviors are affecting you is also concerning.

No one is hearing anything from your wife either and with that while I find her behaviors concerning I do not feel comfortable telling you what to do wth your marriage other than feeling you do really need to reach out for professional help and as I mentioned counseling for your children too.

I struggle myself with ptsd and I had some major health challenges and am lucky to even be alive. I had major surgery where I was completely opened up and my body cavity was full of toxins. They did not even know if I was going to make it even after the surgery. It took me over a year to get my strength back and several months to feel normal as it takes a long time for the anesthesia to leave the brain and I two surgeries in ten days. Health challenges can be an extra challenge that some may not consider.

I had other big health challenges too that challenged me. And years later my daughter shared how lonely and scared she was and my husband never talked to her and assured her. That was always what I did and I learned no one did that when I couldn’t. So I know it’s very important to pay attention to children and their feelings during challenges. its surprising how quickly a child can feel abandoned and frightened.

As I said, I think it was a good idea to reach out for support. Aside from members sharing what they learned there are many articles in the PC archives and some are shared in the ptsd forum as well as visiting the childhood emotional neglect forum.

It’s time for you to learn about mental illness and codependency and things that are important to children that you may not know yet.

You now have a place you can reach out for support. I think it’s best to gain knowledge before making big choices in your relationship.