The sadness and numbness makes it feel like there isn't a destination. You put it well when you said you "have nowhere to go". How can you feel motivated when you have nowhere to go?

Being sad and stuck isn't something you chose. It isn't a judgement of you as a person. It is part of existing with this depression. Try not to feel the pressure of guilt because you struggle. Guilt is so heavy. You are allowed to feel lost and broken.

When you fall down, don't forget you had motivation to get back up. Please keep trying to find a destination to work towards and anything that sparks motivation. I hope it gets better for you.