Quote:
Originally Posted by Have Hope
He told me how happy he is just last week, before he blew up at me in rage. He tells me fairly frequently that he loves me soo much, that he cannot live without me, and that he would be lost without me. These are his words.
I will find the right time. It's our anniversary and his dad is in the hospital sick, so obviously not any time soon would be appropriate. I am sure I will continue to feel depressed over the next coming weeks, so I am sure he will pull it out of me at some stage. I don't feel like approaching him and opening up to him. I feel like closing myself off. His outrageous behavior has effected me in this way. He can figure it out for himself that something is wrong. I am going to shut down and shut myself off.
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I’m so sorry you had such a difficult anniversary. I totally empathize with you and completely understand you for wanting to close off and shut down. But I don’t think he will figure it out for himself. From what I’ve read it sounds like he is completely oblivious of how you are truly feeling. And you would be right in thinking that this is his problem entirely. Because I’m sure that you have tried to express your thoughts and feelings. He is the one who is lacking compassion for his wife.
Please try to find some help for your depression. I know therapy has really helped me recently.
You sound like a strong and courageous woman. Focus on taking care of yourself before you make a decision as huge as divorce. Try doing things for yourself that will enrich your growth spiritually, mentally, and emotionally.