A problem here on my end, is that when he starts yelling at me and out of the blue, it shocks my system, I am completely caught off guard, and then my body reacts or rather, my PTSD is ignited and I physically start shaking. Then I get angry in response for how he's treating me, I raise my voice in response, and I fight back. All the while, my body is shaking. When he yells at me, it's very intimidating, which I know is his goal.

The next time it happens, I will have to remain calm, even if it takes me by surprise. My plan is to go right to my phone and start recording the conversation. Then I will say, very calmly and gently to him:

"You are emotionally and verbally abusive towards me. I told you many times over that I will not tolerate this kind of treatment, and that it's not the marriage I want or will put up with. The last time this happened, I told you we would have a serious problem if it happened again. Now we have a serious problem. Either you own up to having issues AND get professional help for this, OR I am divorcing you. It's your decision."

And I have to say this while my PTSD is triggered and while I am physically shaking.