I think one solution to this is to make yourself fully responsible for your own happiness, which means not relying on someone else for it. This means doing a lot of self care activities, ie, doing things you enjoy, which bring out your passions, and pursuing your own interests in life. This will help to strengthen your independence and will lessen the attachment to happiness and personal value being based on your wife's opinions and feelings towards you. Once we take full responsibility of our lives and the desired outcomes, the less dependent on others we become.