Quote:
Originally Posted by RDMercer
At home, I avoid it. I really avoid it. I am way more intimidated by my wife than I am by people I encounter through my work.
In my previous post someone said something about holding adults accountable; provide income, or look after the home, or disability income, or at least be appreciative and nice. I've been thinking about that since.
Today, I have to ask her to accept more responsibility around here with a couple of things, and I am dreading it. I am dreading the possible push back, the possible counter attack. It's easier and less damaging to not ask, or not point out how much more I am already doing.
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Are you possibly intimidated by her constant anger and by her raging at you? I know I become intimidated when my husband directs his anger towards me and attacks me, even when I say things calmly or ask something of him that is very reasonable for me to ask of him. He explodes, making it very difficult for me to want to approach him.
I agree with her being held more accountable in the household, and with the above statement I quoted -- it should be expected that she treats you with kindness and appreciation, instead of with anger and rage.
You're dreading it probably because she reacts very poorly to something that is very reasonable and rational.
You have to ask yourself: would a reasonable person react this way? Is it reasonable what I am asking of her, is she responding with loving kindness to something that IS reasonable, and is she responding as a reasonable person would and as one would expect?