Nice to get virtual hugs, since we have to avoid the real, physical ones.

My guy was always a good hugger. He was warm. He was a snuggler. He was affectionate. He still is . . . part of the time.

But he depends on me for e v e r y t h i n g. He can't get out of bed without my help. And he gets impatient always having to wait for me. He'll awaken at 4 a.m. and want out of bed. I say "No - not until the sun comes up." Then he'll keep asking. I'll keep saying no. Then he'll call me a beyitch. Then he'll start hollaring my name to come get him up. He'll make it so I can't go back to sleep. Then I'll be so mad. Then we both are mad . . . and close to hating each other.

Now I'm crying. I don't know which is stronger - my weariness and wanting this to be over or my grief and dread at losing him. He was - and still is - a good hugger. I never want to feel a last and final embrace. I still need him.

I need somebody. Thanks for the hug.