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Old May 08, 2020, 02:36 PM
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Have Hope Have Hope is offline
Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,736
Quote:
Originally Posted by MsLady View Post
If you have NO tolerance to his abusive behaviours then the decision needs to be YOURS, not his.. or you end up losing credibility in anything you're saying to him.

If he's shown he's unwilling to own up to his issues, then there's nothing left for you to do. These delays are just eating at you. It's not worth it.

I suspect if he were to go to counseling, any changes he'll make won't stick with you because you're both fragile and in need of someone who's able to give you both a fresh start.
I agree -- if he cannot own up to his issues, I have to leave him - and I will have no choice but to do just that.

This is the way I wish to proceed and is what I am most comfortable with doing. I want to give him the option to own up to his issues and also to choose counseling to work on it and to be able to keep me. If he cannot do either, I have my answers. But I feel best proceeding right now with the plan I have in place.

Right now, I am strengthening myself. This is my own personal journey and process towards being able to say what I need to say to him. I need this time for myself.

Thanks so much for your caring.
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"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination"

~4 Non Blondes
Hugs from:
Mopey, MsLady
Thanks for this!
lady411