Quote:
Originally Posted by Katiier
Hello everyone,
I just started therapy in the beginning of February and I have spoke a little bit about my childhood to my therapist. This is the first time that I have tried to work on my past. I am having a lot of trouble after each session where I get very depressed for a day or two afterwards. Ever since I started going to therapy I have been obsessing about all the trauma and all these feelings that I have been pushing down since I was a kid are now bubbling to the surface. I have a lot of trouble telling my therapist and any other person in my life about my childhood. It is very hard for me to verbalize it and be vulnerable. I would really like to be able to talk to talk to some people who have been through this. I am wondering if it would be better to process all of this with other people who have dealt with similar situations rather then going to therapy, I know I should do both but this is harder then I thought. Do I need to talk about all the bad things to heal from this?
Katie
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Hi Katie, so did you continue with your therapist?
It's a couple of months since you posted this... I can definitely relate as I've been in therapy for around 7 months and really struggled to open up to her in the first few months. I still struggle but it's gotten a little easier as I think my trust in her is much stronger and she does a good job of validating my feelings (good or bad) in what feels like an authentic and supportive way. But she still manages to gently challenge and guide me towards slowly opening up about my childhood. This has taken a while and I think a lot of patience from her. I still have a long way to go - NOTHING is more uncomfortable than talking about my feelings - but I am so committed to making real changes in my life after a series of events (another failed dead end relationship with yet another emotionless guy who ran away as soon as things started to look serious, career insecurities, finance issues ... you name it) that have led me to therapy and towards realising that I need to focus on the root of my issues if I want to fix the other stuff. So here I am.
My sessions are still uncomfortable AF but I am now trying to face the wound head on. My therapist used this great analogy that really opened my eyes - it (depression, anxiety, shame, caused by trauma from neglect) is like going through life with an ongoing tooth ache and therapy is like a root canal - It's painful but the process will help to find the deeper causes of the tooth ache and eventually lead to healing the wound once and for all. I found this a really helpful way of looking at the situation. I hope it helps you too.
Hugs to you Katie and best of luck to everyone struggling with this. You're not alone <3