Quote:
Originally Posted by Have Hope
@ TishaBuv, you asked about being soooo in love with him. No, my love has waned. My feelings are changing. I am not feeling "in love" with him right now and I am not sure if I will ever get back to feeling in love with him. When I am disrespected even if on a periodic basis, it changes me and changes how I view the person. I am viewing him now from an entirely different lens: from an objective lens of "can I even be with this person?????" "do I even want to???" and "do I still actually love him?????"
So, my feelings have changed as a result of the disrespect.
I actually have pretty strong self esteem in many ways, and I think I have fairly grounded sense of self, self worth and self respect. I fought hard to develop those traits within myself, after being beaten down for years. I am not willing to sacrifice my self worth and self respect ever again -- not for anyone - and not for the sake of "love" or romance.
That's how I feel. So, now, right now I am not feeling that feeling of in love. |
To turn off lovingly seems pretty logical when someone yells at you abusively.
Over my long marriage there were problems. But yelling and belittling weren’t an issue. There were other things that I overlooked, other things that triggered me, and many great things. The good always outweighed the bad. Then there is my issue about how I get triggered and that is a problem I bring to it.
My father would always say when in doubt make a good/bad list and see which is longer.
Plus, maybe he can curb his tendency to yell at you and learn to change.