Hopefully others will come on and help you. I don't know about other boards.

I had a problem with various family members and in-laws drinking. It isn't the same as you but it really depressed me. I went to Alanon. Alanon really helped me to put everything into perspective, including my own reactions.

I have a girlfriend who is going through the same as you...only they are near retirement with children grown. Everything you spoke about has increased for her...his moods, acting out, withdrawing, blaming her, refusing to get help. She is living in hell.

These things seem to be progressive and only get worse. My friend's husband was always a good provider, they have a lovely home etc. It was just that slowly over-the-years he got worse...especially as he got older. Now he drinks daily. They barely talk.

So I would think that facing it head-on is the best thing. Personally it took me a very long time to get free of being entangled with other people's addiction. Even when I knew it all in my head...my habits of codependency remained. I was too nice, too enabling, put up with too much.

Finally I am free of all that.


Sadly, you cannot control what others do. You can only control how you respond. I think that is my core advice. And that is what Alanon helps people to grasp. There are books out there on codependency that perhaps you should read.

Good luck. It is very tough situation. I hope others here will respond to you soon.