People are often commenting about my appearance. I know they mean well and it shouldn't be a big deal but it's giving me a complex. Now I'm starting to feel like looks are all that matter. If i look so great I should be rich and famous. My eyes, my smile, my hair, my face. I'm fat but beautiful. Lose weight and I'd be a knockout my mom says.

So what else is there? There are beautiful people everywhere, and they are successful. I'm a beautiful person not successful, kind of feel cheated. I want success. But my personality is lacking. I'm nice but not always and I'm blunt. Just feel like losing weight is my golden ticket but guys already flock to me. Money is what i want. But i have to be a thin rail to get a guy with money. And I'm fat. 16w.

Doing it on my own hasn't worked well. I'm trying even still, but the men I attract are assholes, cheaters, or not rich. I don't know women fear me taking their man cause I'm single. Guy tell me of their wife girlfriend cause of a vibe i must give off. Being friendly, or trying to be as per my job guys smile a lot at me.

It's a blessing I know it is, but it's a challenge when your socially awkward. I never wanted to be a trophy wife, too stressful. But now I think I'd rather be the trophy being poor sucks. I mean Prince hit on me, but I was engaged. I feared being a trophy wife. I have a fat gene that's hard to manage.

Guess this post opened my eyes. Aiming higher!