Quote:
Originally Posted by Gasplessy
I was looking at a picture of me and my father. I was about 4, dressed in a carnival costume
His face kind and tired. He was clearly tryin to do his best, as long as my mother
Dad used to work in a factory, sometimes at night
Was really stressed
My mom used to be stressed too. An employee, but in a not really safe environment
She did so much for me and my sister
I used to notice their struggles as a kid, and tried to be good
I wanted to "save" the from their reality
But growing up I became quite difficult, intolerant, angry, careless and lost my way
I regret so much of what happened lately
It was very chaotic
This is life, afterall. You better know
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They might have enjoyed you too! Little kids have their good and loving moments. They also have their moments where they try their parents and teachers patience.
Your parents did the best they could but life just gets hard sometimes. You did and are doing the best you can too!
I believe we were all born into our family of origin for a reason and we are more like our parents or one of our ancestors than we realize. IMO the trauma, poverty, mistakes, love, joy, kindness, good decisions our parents and ancestors faced and made did effect their children.
So does the decisions that the people around us have made--for instance, if our leaders choose to go to war or our nation has to go to war to defend itself, the ramifications can be quite intense. Even if COVID-19 goes away, it has effected you and will effect many for years to come.
We have to just accept a lot of things in our life because we only have so much control but we can control this moment and what we choose to say, write, read, eat, do, etc. We can even learn to try to think more positively by what we are doing with each moment.
Don't give up Gasplessly.
Your grief will eventually get less intense so hang in there.
Do what you can to make today good by having goals and working toward them.
Check into PC as much as you want. It will take time to get over the loss of your dad. Forgive yourself and your parents.
Hugs.
