I experience the push/pull in relationships. It's one of the reasons why I don't have a lot of people in my life. In therapy, I have first learned to recognize the push/pull. Once I'm aware of it, I do my best to not act on either. I wait to see if the situation will change. Usually it does, and the desire to push/pull lessens. I've also learned to "tell on myself" especially to my therapist. I literally tell her that I feel clingy or that I want to push her away. We can then figure out why I feel that way, validate my feelings, and try to resolve the problem. Because the desire to push/pull usually is caused by a problem or a tape/template.