So the other day just wanted to rant and rave and carry on. My t is still off and on in my thoughts and idk what I'm going
to do with that.

But Yesterday I wanted to , in a sense start a fight with an obvious miss dial ((they left a voice message of "NOW" and I was ready to fire off with a **** you call back because... because it annoyed me they did that and just the tone- what a douche! But but if I call and do what I wanted I'm the douche)). I held myself to my standards of not creating fights with strangers because they aren't worth the time and energy- even though I really really wanted to... I laid awake a good chunk of the night.

Today my mind and just me- so much to do and let's get it done and let's go already and yet I'm utterlyforgetful in moments.
I stayed at the dog park for an hour talking with everyone in short conversation at safe distances while my pup did what she does with meeting everyone- because I'm more social FOR ME than reserved as I'm usually am. I some times can't form sentences but today I was firing off and jabbering. It all worked out, my pup slept while I was away at a store which has me more confident about my worries of separation anxiety. She also amazed me with staying quiet when I returned, but that's been a lot of practice. But at t hff e same time she wasn't quiet when i did my laundry and went to the front door of the building to get a drop off.
anyways, I keep ****ing forgetting my mask out of absence mindedness-- I did have it at the dog park, but for my laundry and the pick up I forgot ((and I forget a lot with dog potty calls)) I even have a box by the door and usually one of my hand made ones hanging near the leashes...and I was reading the repercussion in my area if not following protocol- up to $5000 and prison time (( not and/or , nor jail)) I reread this and even read it out loud to my friend due to I wanted to be sure I wasn't confused.
Oi, I'm thinking of writing myself a note on my door saying " do you have $5000 & afford a year of jail time?" ... just for a visual reminder that do I have my mask.

I sometimes do a "do i have my wallet, phone, keys , work bag and love in my heart " MENTAL check list saying when I'm start to get forgetful like this, guess I need to add in mask.

@BirdDancer I'm sorry about you husband's predicament and job-
while not the same I have a similar work place that we've been waiting to hear either furloughs, another cut ((already 10%, some 25%)) or lay offs. I always remind mysel and others we can only take one day at a time, today we have a job and for us this isn't a new realm.
For contractors and vendors we're just told the day they decided we're no longer at assignment - and employees are given notice that in 3 months they're gone.
I've lived this "well my badge and ids stil work today" for 13 years, it's sometimes is just another layer of anxiety to have. Plus resentment in a sense to ngf.. but I have issues. here lately I've just reminded myself to take it one day at a time, and remind myself that all of us busy bees have no control over the decisions, and worse yet over the last five years the managers have little to no say in the decision.
While it's not comforting, but it's reality... which in a sense gives power to look at it in the sense of what is "true" ...and sometimes I don't feel so guilty when I don't kill myself over the job to try to keep some sanity. Do not get me wrong, I'm a worker but me being 150% all the time is some times running me ragged... Im different though, i never thought of this career as others have and do... to me it will always be a job and I must do good at it for some reason... and life is bumpy at times no doubt.

I sincerely hope no bad news comes your way, but I always try to remind myself IF it does come my way, that I can only do what's in my control-- course telling myself this and the day of when it comes will most likely be different- I'll probably have a mini break down of how dumb I am or whatever-- but I'm positive it will pass or if it doesn't I'll be on another path.
This is me babbling- obviously I have my own anxieties with my job situation, because it's been so unstable.. stocks not being the price they want and budgeting gets analyzed, and it's not profit but cuts that help those numbers be made for my situation.. and I know others.. but that can get "political " so let's not go there beauflow.

Anyways. Many well thoughts to everyone.