Defensiveness about oneself and one's parents strikes me as hardest to overcome. For example, I used to be extremely defensive about my mother's alcoholism. An accurate comment about her felt like an attack on me.
Perhaps the ground can be prepared by pointing out abusiveness in others, people he is not so invested in, when the occasion arises. Idk, perhaps he can see that first, without being asked to see a connection with himself.
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