I can't say whether or not you should tell your boyfriend as that is an extremely personal decision. I do think therapy can be genuinely helpful, but I understand with COVID going on, it's harder to find a therapist right now. You may be able to find a NAMI support group online. It's not the same as therapy but you can talk with people who are undergoing struggles with mental illness. Though I have found that the meetings I have attended, no one else seems to be talking about self harm. But maybe it would be different where you are.

I do think you are onto something that giving up smoking may make your desire to self harm worse. Congrats on giving up smoking by the way, I'm sure that wasn't easy. Can you make a list of things you can do besides self harm? I'd suggest something that gets your endorphins going like going for a walk/run or dancing. Sometimes just knowing there are other options helps me to not think solely on self harm.


It sounds like you are pretty alone in your struggle with self harm. Do you have any friends or family members that you could confide in if you don't want to tell your boyfriend? It might help just to get it off your chest. Just think carefully about who you tell because sometimes people aren't the most supportive.


I've been working on stopping self harm and the only way I've been able to do it is by having friends that I can text or call and they will talk to me through it. It required me to open up a lot more than I was comfortable with but I did it and it is helping. For the first time in my life I feel like I am finally getting a handle on the self harm. It is scary to reach out--but look you did it here, hooray!!--but it can be enormously helpful if you find the right people to walk with you on your journey.


Best of luck to you. Write here as often as you wish. It's not a very active board but someone will reply eventually. HUGS kit