When people behave poorly towards others or even being abusive, it doesn’t always mean they don’t love you or don’t care if they will lose you. Of course sometimes outwardly showing their love could be manipulative but it could also be genuine love. They can love us and still be jerks or be unwell mentally or be addicts or be bad partners. That’s why relationships are hard. People might love us but still be simply wrong for us.

Not saying your husband is wrong for you. Just exploring how things might be hard even when there is love

PS I’d focus on actions. What’s the person do that is loving? I don’t mean declarations of love like words or stickers. Those are not actions, those are words. They could be genuine of course but what exact actions indicate that the person deeply cares and wants to improve? . I’d focus on actions