You are not a piece of ****. You are a hurting human being.

When a tree grows without enough water, when it is battered by the winds, when it doesn't receive the nutrients it needs to grow robust and efficient roots, shoots, leaves and nuts, seeds or fruit, nobody blames the tree for not being perfect. They don't look at the tree and say "What a piece of **** it is! How useless it is! What a pathetic tree! It couldn't even grow itself properly!"

They see it's leaves are withered from lack of water, and know what it needs to flourish. They see it's trunk is twisted and deformed, and realise it had to grow itself according to the ceaseless winds that battered it. They see it's fruit are diseased or insufficient through lack of nutrients, and know what nutrients to add to the soil to help it flourish.

Humans are not so different to trees. When little humans are watered with love, kindness, are kept safe from harm and are given all the things that are best for humans to grow, they grow well. They are sure of themselves, have the tools to successfully navigate the complex world of human relationships and are comfortable in their own skin.
When little humans are hurt, forgotten, neglected, ignored, beaten, and harmed in all manner of ways, their growth and development reflects their experiences. You can't grow without nutrients. You can't flourish with no or insufficient water. You can't grow straight and tall and sure when you are battered and assaulted by the environment in which you are expected to grow.

You are a hurting human being. You grew the best you could in the environment in which you found yourself. It sounds like you are a battered tree, one that has been pushed down by the wind, and starved of nutrients. You are not perfect tree, but you are here. You are a not a piece of **** tree, but you are in need of nurturing and care.

What do you need? Water? Nutrients? A place to rest, with no more wind?