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Originally Posted by LonelyMan
Yes the women came to me, and only me to raise the issue officially.
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Ok, do you think they appreciate and trust how you handle important situations? Maybe they see you as that 'strong and silent' type.. which is a compliment.
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My attitude to women them is due to my experience of being used when they are bored or want 'friends' to tell their trouble to. Please do not presume to tell me why i want a girlfriend or how i am with a girlfriend.you do not know me.
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To me it felt like you were generalizing women as a whole. Maybe I misread your post? I guess the take away is to establish boundaries from the get-go so people aren't taking advantage of you at all. We could all use some tweaking in this department, for sure. I don't know you at all. I'm just basing my feedback on what you've said.
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Just because i do not let people use me to pass their time does not mean i do not like or would not like someone who wanted me for me.
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No, I wasn't suggesting that at all. What I'm saying is, try and put yourself out there without assuming women (generally) are going to use you. Every woman is different and if you set a tone, you'll either get a positive or negative response.. so try and make it a good one.
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I may have to be alone. I do not have to be taken advantage of
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Well there's definitely a lot of needy people out there. If we learn to pick up those red flags early on, we won't end up disappointed and feeling used.
Maybe you attract needy people. All of my 3 relationships have been with codependents.. so there's something in me I need to address in order to not attract this personality type. The solution isn't to isolate ourselves further. That will definitely feed into depression.
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My point is all these days are for people who have and are advertised as such. When have you seen an advert for valentines for example feature a depressed person. Marketing only wants shiny happy people.
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Ya, for sure. Commercialism makes money.. but we dont have to succumb to it. We can celebrate holidays however we choose that makes "us" happy. It's a mental state.